scattered-teardrops:

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I know a girl……She puts the color inside of my world

I am off to get RIPPED van winkled! Time to get in where I fit in!! D.C. with the boys! Have a wonderful night everyone!! And I hope you all are enjoying your weekend!! Hope you are feeling better kitten! :P <33

Afghanistan 2010. Some good times and some bad times 
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Anonymous asked: “ You ever killed a guy in war? Seen a dead body? Sorry if it's strong ”

Wow, ok so in 2 years on these asks I will finally answer this one publicly. Yeah I have killed a man, 11 confirmed kills…I have taken the most valuable thing away from another man, his life. And have I seen a dead body? Yeah the first dead bodies I ever saw when I got into country was the bodies of children on the curb side…HAVE you ever seen a dead body?? DO YOU know what it smells like? I was a fucking medic, I have had guys die on me I was giving mouth to mouth to, chest compressions to. I have watch someone’s skin go bleach white while I was trying to stop their bleeding griping my uniform begging me not to let them die, sometimes the blood gushed to fast, to hard, the wounds were non survivable but I kept telling them that they would be ok, that they were in fact not going to die, even though I knew they would. But I always kept that faith that I would stop the bleeding, that I could some how be an angel and save them, and a few men I have, there are a few men out there that owe me their lives, but I don’t want um. I earned 3 medals, one of which I got from the President of the United States Of America, I have been combat wounded, shot in the left leg, I toured 2 continents with a spec ops group, I have seen things that would make grown men cry, And it’s a part of my past, but one I can never let go, you would have to live it to get it. People say don’t dwell on the past, well you NEVER had this kind of experience, so you can’t understand why I can’t let it go, you don’t know what I have seen, and the nightmares that it gives me to this day, it’s not that I don’t want to let it go, I’d love to, but some things can never be unseen or forgotten, and it haunts you till the day you fucking die, all my brothers in arms that have been through the same can tell you, no matter how far you run away from it, it’s always there waiting for you at the finish line. I envy those that died in combat cause its all said and done for them, its the ones that lived through it that suffer the most, we got a life time to live, and memories are ghosts, they come when they are least wanted and they haunt you a lifetime. So the next time you ask yourself is my life bad? No it’s not, cause you get to live without the ghosts of the past raping your existence. Have I mad your ask clear?   

My Beretta M9, I got this baby a month or so back and forgot to post a picture

I love the things that we should fear